I’ve got 20 miles to run this morning. I’m trying hard not to work myself into as much of a tizzy over this long run – but usually, I’m more nervous for these runs than for the race itself. I think it’s just that I don’t want to let myself down. Ten marathon preps under my belt and I still sweat the long run.
Some weeks, I worry over the long run for two or three days in advance. I sleep poorly the night before. And, the run itself is never as bad as I think. Last night was OK sleepwise. But now, I’m already planning my route and getting antsy. I’m not sure what I expect to happen – and I really don’t have a goal except to lay down the miles, so why the angst?
Other runners I know experience the same long-run anxiety. When it comes down to it, it’s only 3 hours of my life – of my day. Just 1/8th. The weather is supposed to be beautiful, so there’s no suffering in rain, sleet or cold. No sweating profusely in the heat.
I’m running alone, so there’s no one to keep up with – and no one holding me back. Sheesh – I can walk if I want to. My training has been anything but on point for this upcoming race, and I have no real expectations. I really just need the miles under my feet so it doesn’t hurt soooooo much come race day.
So, why? I employ all my yoga tools – deep breaths, tell myself I’m in control of my feelings, the discomfort is only temporary. Nothing seems to ease it. I’ve completed an IronMan for goodness sakes – what’s a 20-mile training run?
So, it comes back to me and disappointment. Why I can’t shake that feeling, I don’t know. But I can’t – and I have a long run this week, and next, then taper. I can make it.